WTF is “Queer”??

So usually I am not a fan of labels.  I mean honestly, other than Witch, Woman, Irish, Pagan, and my “government name” how I define myself is too complicated to throw a sticker on it and label it one thing over another. That is the real truth of why I am Pagan versus Wiccan. I don’t want to fit in a box and be forced to conform to someone’s idea of what “that” is supposed to be. I want to make up my own rules and definitions of ME as much as possible. 
But… lately this word “Queer” just strikes me as SO fucking RIGHT. In my mind, queer means different, weird, off or odd. This fits in my “no box” world. Unfortunately, not labeling can be lonely.  If I am talking to a female, how I define my sexuality comes out so fucking complicated. I don’t want to be that complicated bitch, she is lonely.
The fact that I am in a “situation” with the dude, regardless of the lack of sex, the very fact that I have a man at home takes away the “lesbian” label that I was always so at home and comfortable with. Yet, at the same time… if you put me next to a male and female who BOTH want me, sorry dude she’s the one.
I have had good relationships with men and women, so I just don’t fuckink know what to call myself.
It’s not like I want a relationship with anyone, but one of my goals for this year was to get reacquainted with my gay community. I am sad to report that I am only a tourist. I was too uncomfortable with the label to even try to reach out. Idk if it will be easier to stand up and say “I’m Queer!” But… maybe this label is just the push I need to get the fuck out of the closet once and for all.
As always… ❤

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